We overachievers are unreasonable like that.
Author: Wu Zhe, Translated by Ami <3
“Nah.” Gu Fei quickly answered.
He wasn’t unwilling, despite thinking that the act of leaving a teeth-mark on the other’s skin and getting a tattoo of it doesn’t sound like something Jiang Cheng would do. But if Jiang Cheng wanted to, he had no problem with it.
It’s just that…… Tattoos aren’t like other things, it’s leaving someone else’s mark on one’s own body. Even if it can be removed in the future, it won’t be completely without a trace.
Perhaps Jiang Cheng simply never considered this point: if there comes a day that they are separated, and no longer a couple, what should be done about this mark.
That a brief period of time that only existed in your past would leave a permanent mark on your body. Perhaps Jiang Cheng never thought about this kind of thing.
“Then how come you had to mull over it for so long?” Jiang Cheng looked fixedly at him.
“I’m just thinking……” Gu Fei hesitated for a moment. “If it might be a little silly.”
“It’s not like I’m going to bite your face, it’ll be somewhere other people can’t see, somewhere only we can……” Jiang Cheng stopped halfway through, knitted his brows and thought for a long time, then laughed. “It does seem a little silly.”
Gu Fei laughed and didn’t reply.
“Oh well, if it’s silly then so be it.” Jiang Cheng waved his hand. “Frankly I would never do something like this in the past, it’s just…… being with you, the dumbassery must be contagious.”
“You got the guts to say that, me, contagious?” Gu Fei looked at him.
“Of course,” Jiang Cheng stuffed his hands in his pocket. “Forget it, let’s think of something else, something that’s not so silly. The teeth-mark idea was just a whim.”
“Mhm.” Gu Fei nodded.
“I just wanted to leave something of myself on you, as a mark.” Jiang Cheng said.
“How about you just pee on my leg.” Gu Fei said.
“……Get out!” Jiang Cheng glared at him.
Someone sounded a car horn across the street. Jiang Cheng followed the sound with his eyes, a motorcycle made a u-turn and stopped beside them.
After the helmet came off, he realized this person was Li Yan.
“Last time Er-Miao seemed to be digging into these cookies, I guessed she must like them.” Li Yan handed Gu Fei a bag that was hanging from the handlebar. “There’s some other stuff too, if she doesn’t like it then you two can eat it.”
“Mhm.” Gu Fei accepted the bag and peeked inside. “That’s a lot.”
“There are two boxes of durian puffs in there, one for each of you.” Li Yan looked at Jiang Cheng. “You probably never had it before, it’s super-duper-inimitably-sommersaulting-backflipping-cartwheeling delicious.”
“Oh.” Jiang Cheng almost didn’t understand what he said.
“It’s just this store’s way too far, I have to mentally prepare a few days in advance every time I make a trip out there. But every time I go, I bring some back for them,” Li Yan said. “So this time I brought it for you too, give it a try.”
“Thank you.” Jiang Cheng felt a little hungry all of a sudden, so he took the box out of the bag and ate one right then.
“How is it?” Li Yan asked immediately.
“Mhm,” Jiang Cheng nodded. It was indeed delicious. He felt the layers flaking off as soon as it entered his mouth, it was soft and delectable. “It’s spinning-gliding-Thomas-salto-floorwork good.”
Li Yan left after a brief chat, saying he had plans to go out drinking. He even added before he left, “You two continue.”
Jiang Cheng searched his brain for a long time as he munched, before recalling what they were talking about before this.
The teeth-mark tattoos.
He didn’t continue that topic of conversation. On one hand it really was a bit silly, furthermore…… He consumed three durian puffs in a row, then slowly calmed down.
He felt like his brain had been a mess ever since entering Li Baoguo’s home. Upon coming out and suddenly seeing Gu Fei, his whole being was immersed in an overly gleeful state, so much so that it made him a little dizzy.
He was only now coming back to his senses, and paused to reflect on Gu Fei’s reaction.
Gu Fei’s reaction…… Gu Fei was clearly dumbfounded, and not at all like he claimed. Too silly? If he had really thought it was too silly he would’ve directly rebuked it, instead of spacing out.
“Do you still want to eat?” Gu Fei said. “A bowl of cold noodles can’t be enough, let’s eat more?”
“At this point, I’m not exactly full enough that I don’t want to eat anything, but at the same time not so hungry that I feel like going out.” Jiang Cheng sighed.
“How about……” Gu Fei considered for a moment. “Come to the store, I’ll make you something.”
“Okay.” Jiang Cheng answered.
He truly didn’t know what he wanted to eat right now. On Li Baoguo’s matter, he didn’t feel the sense of relief that comes with having solved a problem. He had no appetite.
It was the thought of being with Gu Fei for a little while that made him feel much better, only…… Gu Fei’s reaction just now, it was a while later, but it still made him feel a little uneasy.
When they got to the store, Gu Fei walked to the kitchen in the courtyard to prepare the food. Only then did he follow behind and ask, “You were actually……”
Gu Fei looked at him with eggs in his hands, “What?”
“You were actually thinking that if we ever separate, it won’t be appropriate having my teeth-mark on your body,” Jiang Cheng looked at him. “Right?”
Gu Fei blinked, “I wasn’t.”
“You can remove the stuff,” Jiang Cheng said. “You don’t have to worry about that…… Nevermind, forget I said anything. It was a silly idea anyway.”
Jiang Cheng turned to go back into the store. He sat down behind the counter, pulled out his phone, and swiped at it absentmindedly.
“I’ve never thought that.” Gu Fei also walked over, eggs still in his hands, then placed the eggs one by one on the counter.
“Never thought what?” Jiang Cheng peered at him. “Never thought that it’s silly?”
“I did think it was silly,” Gu Fei said. “But I never thought about the thing with breaking up and how appropriate or not appropriate it would be to leave your teeth-mark on me.”
“Gu Fei,” Jiang Cheng clucked his tongue. “Are you under the impression that I’m……”
“Let’s go get teeth-mark tattoos,” Gu Fei interrupted him. “Li Yan knows a really good tattoo artist.”
“There’s no need,” Jiang Cheng frowned, he felt like an unreasonable child who needed Gu Fei to soothe him. “It was just a random suggestion.”
“I’ll give him a call, ask him to help arrange a time.” Gu Fei said.
“What the shit,” Jiang Cheng looked at him. “I said it’s not necessary. There’s no point anyway, it’s not like I really want to force you to do it, it was only a……”
“I said, let’s go get teeth-mark tattoos!” Gu Fei slammed his hands down on the counter, leaned forward, and closed in on Jiang Cheng’s face. He lowered his voice and practically growled. “Right now it’s me forcing you.”
“The fuck?” Jiang Cheng was startled into bewilderment by his imposing presence.
“Teeth-mark.” Gu Fei looked fixedly at him.
“Ah?” Jiang Cheng stared. “What about it?”
“What’s an appropriate location for it?” Gu Fei asked.
Jiang Cheng looked at him for a long while without speaking, then eventually couldn’t keep a straight face anymore and burst out laughing, “What the fucking hell Gu Fei, is there something wrong with you?”
“Do you want it or not?” Gu Fei asked again.
“I do.” Jiang Cheng nodded.
“I’ll give Li Yan a call later,” Gu Fei straightened up, and arranged the eggs on the counter into a row. “One, two, three, four, five, is that enough?”
“I can’t eat five,” Jiang Cheng looked at the eggs. “I’ll overdose on protein.”
“Mine’s in there too.” Gu Fei said.
“Oh,” Jiang Cheng looked at the eggs, looked at him, then lastly glanced at his crotch, before picking up two similarly sized eggs in his hands. “You mean these two?” 
Gu Fei paused for a beat, then when realization hit, he narrowed his eyes in a smile, “These aren’t the same size as mine though. Fess up Cheng-ge, are you mixing me up with someone else?”
“Fuck off!” Jiang Cheng admonished him, then added as Gu Fei walked back to the kitchen with the eggs. “You wanna bet I’ll leave a teeth-mark on your eggs!”
“That’s fine,” Gu Fei turned around. “If you don’t mind someone else cradling my eggs when we get the tattoo……”
“Let’s fight it out.” Jiang Cheng tossed his phone on the counter and stood up. “Can’t get over this today if we don’t fight it out.”
Gu Fei laughed as he closed the back door behind him and went into the kitchen.
Jiang Cheng didn’t have much appetite before, but after Gu Fei suddenly ‘forced’ him to get a tattoo, he started to feel hungry again.
Frankly, it wasn’t that he had to get a teeth-mark tattoo or else. The only reason he thought of a tattoo was because he’d always been prohibited from doing things like this. Nevermind a tattoo, even when Pan Zhi gifted him a little stone pendant, Shen Yiqing had forbade him from wearing it around his neck, and almost made him return it to Pan Zhi.
Of course he was very happy that Gu Fei was willing to get this stupid whimsical thing with him, but what really stimulated his appetite were the words “I’ve never thought that”.
People are strange like that sometimes, so easy to satisfy, with no need for any supporting evidence, and no need for any logic. All that’s necessary is a single sentence from the other person, even empty words are enough to bring delight.
Gu Fei quickly finished making the food: five fried eggs and a small tub of jiuniang tangyuan. It smelled delicious. 
“Here, these are my eggs,” Gu Fei picked out two of the fried eggs out of the ones that were stuck together, and placed it in Jiang Cheng’s bowl. “For you to eat.”
“Alright then,” Jiang Cheng also picked up two eggs and put them in Gu Fei’s bowl. “These are my eggs, take your time and eat it slowly.”
“Mmn.” Gu Fei grinned.
“Then whose egg is this?” Jiang Cheng pointed at the one left over.
“That would be the chicken’s.” Gu Fei said.
Jiang Cheng blanked for a second, then laughed so hard he had trouble holding the bowl, “Hey Gu Fei you really are adorable sometimes.”
“Just sometimes?” Gu Fei looked at him.
“It’s already a miracle that I’d use the word “adorable” to describe you,” Jiang Cheng said. “Be content with what you get, understand?”
“Understand.” Gu Fei nodded earnestly.
Gu Fei decided to stop thinking about the teeth-mark thing. He even decided to not think too deeply into anything that Jiang Cheng didn’t want to think too much into.
If Jiang Cheng wanted to get a teeth-mark tattoo, then they’ll get one. And as to whether it will be removed in the future, or whether it can be removed…… Whatever happens will happen. At least Jiang Cheng wasn’t thinking about that at the moment, so he will follow suit.
It’s a wonder that Jiang Cheng said dumbassery is contagious, but who is infecting whom is the real question.
When he called Li Yan to make an appointment with the tattoo artist, Li Yan’s reaction was surprisingly calm, “You? Who else?”
“Jiang Cheng.” Gu Fei said.
“Oh.” Li Yan replied. “Your illnesses sound quite serious.”
“You can stop diagnosing us,” Gu Fei said. “Just give me the contact.”
“You’ve never been there before huh, should I take you guys there?” Li Yan asked.
“No.” Gu Fei answered adamantly.
“Will it be in an indecent spot?” Li Yan asked again.
“Mhm.” Gu Fei chuckled.
“Then I’ll see if I can get a look in the future,” Li Yan tsked. “It’s going to be Summer soon anyway.”
This tattoo artist Li Yan recommended seemed to be someone sophisticated. He had a studio that wasn’t open to receive the public, most of his clients are referrals. Li Yan got a corgi butt tattoo on his lower back from here, Gu Fei had seen it. It looked pretty good, the tattoo even managed to capture the essential jiggle of a corgi butt.
When it came to the locations of these silly teeth-mark tattoos, Gu Fei had no opinion on the matter. Or rather, Jiang Cheng had said in the beginning that it was to be somewhere visible only to themselves, but as soon as he started to think about the location, he couldn’t help but let his thoughts wander. It wasn’t good for his health to have such frequent rises and falls like that.
However, Jiang Cheng had already made up his mind. In the bus on the way to the studio, Jiang Cheng leaned close to his ears and told him quietly.
“On the thigh,” Jiang Cheng shook his leg. “The inner side.”
“The fuck?” Gu Fei laughed out loud. “Doesn’t that mean I’ll have to get down on your crotch……”
“Yell, yell louder.” Jiang Cheng glared at him. “You haven’t completed your mission until the whole bus hears you.”
“But the pose I have to get in to bite you isn’t very civilized.” Gu Fei said with a lowered voice.
“If I can reach it myself then I wouldn’t need you.” Jiang Cheng said.
Gu Fei turned away and laughed for a while at the window, then turned back and asked in a small voice, “Then where do you plan to bite me? Would you have to get down to my crotch?”
“Collarbone,” Jiang Cheng looked around them. They were sitting at the very back, and no one was paying any attention. He tugged away Gu Fei’s collar with his finger, and tapped gently on his left collarbone. “Right here.”
Gu Fei grabbed Jiang Cheng’s hand with his own and pressed it down on his leg, “Try to restrain yourself.”
“Fuck, who are you acting this out for,” Jiang Cheng laughed. “Is there a place on your body I haven’t touched?”
“Alright, come on then, come on,” Still holding onto Jiang Cheng’s hand, Gu Fei moved it toward his own crotch, and said quietly. “You’re here every day anyw……”
Jiang Cheng was startled, he yanked his hand away in a flash, “Fuck off!”
The studio was situated in a rather neat looking residential area in the most lavish new division of the shitty little city. The elevator took them right up to the ninth floor, where there was a black wooden board hanging on the door, with nothing but three white dots on it.
“Is this studio called ‘three pies’?” Jiang Cheng asked. 
“Dunno, I just know the owner’s surname is Lu.” Gu Fei held back his laughter and pressed the doorbell. “Let’s ask.”
The door opened quickly, the owner himself opened it for them. He looked much sunnier than his studio, which was decked out in all black.
“Li Yan said I have to do this for you guys myself,” Mr. Lu poured a cup of tea for each of them. “So I didn’t ask my assistant to come. Though if I’m to do it by myself, it’ll take a little longer.”
“That’s alright,” Jiang Cheng said. “As long as it looks good.”
“You don’t have to worry about that, I’ve been doing tattoos for years.” Mr. Lu said, suddenly walking in front of them, and with a flourish, pulled off his t-shirt. “See.”
“Aiyoo.” Jiang Cheng was startled into jumping back in his seat, before he saw the guy was trying to show off his body that was covered from top to bottom with tattoos, there was not an inch of yellow skin to be found.
“Very cool.” Gu Fei expressed his genuine praise.
Even though it made him look a little like a weirdo, the designs all looked exquisite, and rather artistic.
Mr. Lu put his shirt on again, “The ones on the back were done by my assistant, but I did all the ones I can reach. So relax, just a little design like the one you guys want, it’s no problem at all…… Have you decided what kind of graphic you want? And where?”
“……Teeth-mark.” Jiang Cheng replied, then paused. He suddenly realized he didn’t know how to verbalize his idea of obtaining the teeth-marks from actual bites. “Just……”
“From you two biting each other?” Mr. Lu asked directly.
Jiang Cheng instantly felt unable to answer.
“That’s right,” Gu Fei replied. “I’ll go first, can you do it on the collarbone?”
“I can, but it’ll hurt a little, the skin is thinner there.” Mr. Lu reached out and tugged down Gu Fei’s collar, then turned back to look at Jiang Cheng. “Where do you want it?”
“……Here.” Jiang Cheng felt an urge to slap his hand away, but considering it was a necessary part of the guy’s job, he could only clench his teeth and point.
“Then when you bite down,” Mr. Lu also pointed at Gu Fei’s collarbone. “Try to make it closer to the shoulder, otherwise the mark won’t be whole, his clavicle is fairly prominent.”
“Mhm.” Jiang Cheng nodded.
Mr. Lu must’ve seen it all, that he had no reaction whatsoever to the fact that two guys wanted to bite teeth-marks on each other, as though there were people doing the exact same thing every day out on the streets.
He was even considerate enough to let the two of them use the smaller workroom to prepare.
“Strip.” Jiang Cheng stood in front of Gu Fei and folded his arms.
“……This air.” Gu Fei chuckled, and took off his shirt.
“I’m going to bite now?” Jiang Cheng held onto Gu Fei’s shoulder, leaning left and right trying to find a good angle. “Right here.”
“You can bite down hard, get it done in one go, if you have to do it twice it won’t look clean.” Gu Fei leaned his head back a little.
“Mhm.” Jiang Cheng nodded.
“Alright, bite me.” Gu Fei said.
Jiang Cheng grabbed his shoulder and bit down viciously on the collarbone.
“AH——” Gu Fei yelped. The sound was loud and clear, very sincere, without a trace of exaggerated effect; it was entirely the audible result of pain.
“Gu Fei,” Jiang Cheng let go, and said quietly beside his ear. “I know what you’re thinking. Even if we’re not together in the future, I still want to leave a mark on your body. Whoever sees it will have to know that it’s mine. We overachievers are unreasonable like that.”
: In Chinese, eggs [蛋蛋] is a euphemism for testicles, just like balls. ↩
: Jiuniang Tangyuan [醪糟汤圆] is a dessert/treat type dish. Jiuniang is sweet fermented rice, which can be used in liquid to make other dishes. Tangyuan is glutinous rice balls that may or may not have a sweet filling inside. ↩
: Three pies, or sanbing [三饼] is a mahjong tile. The face of it is three dots arranged in a row, diagonally across the rectangular tile surface. ↩
- Raw character count: 4879
- TL word count: 3175
- TL time: 2:33:19
- Edit: 1:15:04
- Curse words: 6 x fucks, 2 x shits, 2 x asses
Eggs, eggs everywhere